Today I am Trifle

The Story

“So what you’re saying is…”


“Judas was…”

“The first.”

“The first one.”




“As in Judas Iscariot. The Betrayer. Least of the the Twelve disciples.”


“Was the first vampire.”




“You’re ridiculous.”

“How am I wrong?! Think about it!”

“I am thinking about it! That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life!”

“Vampires gotta start somewhere!”

“Vlad the impaler is a MUCH more reasonable start.”

“That’s too commercial.”

“Do you even hear yourself?”

“It is! But Judas- that even makes sense. God isn’t about letting people off easy.”

“Oh! Oh, now you know what God’s thinking.”

“Just look at Cain! Marks him and sends him off. You think He’s just gonna let Judas hang himself after turning over the Only Son? Nah.”

“Nah? That’s what God says. ‘Nah.’

“I think God might say ‘Nah.'”

“But that’s Old Testament God you’re thinking. This is New Testament God we’re talking about.”

“Just because all the characters changed doesn’t mean the author did.”

“Well now you’re just throwing around fancy phrases to sound right.”

“You caught me.”

“I did. Because other than the betrayal, you’ve got no backing.”

“Wine is blood, blood is wine. Last thing Judas has? Jesus’s wine, that He says is His blood. What do vampires drink? Blood. What is Jesus? Son of God. Son? Sun like in the sky. Vampires drink blood, can’t see the sun. Boom, case closed.”

“Speaking of drinking- I am never drinking with you again.”

“…You’ve been drinking? Dude we’re on the job!”

“I always have to drink around you, man.”

“Then you are inebriated and can’t argue, so I’m declaring myself the winner, again.”

“Thus also proving my point, making me also a winner, again.”



“BA hahahahah har haha har hahah!”

“Heh heh heh heheh heee heh heh heh hedy heh heh.”

“Ahhh ha ha aaahhh man, just another day watching the world go by, eh?”

“I don’t know, they say this one is it.”

“You’ve never been the type to be optimistic, Mark. I’m surprised.”

“There’s always time to start.”

“And you think that time is now?”

“This time feels different, don’t you think?”

“Something in the air, like a storm?”

“Now who’s being too commercial? No- no. It’s all adding up, the chess pieces in the right places, I’ve been watching.”

“And I haven’t? What are you seeing that I’m missing?”

“Nothing, it’s just that you’re looking without seeing, like usual.”

“Hey now, don’t go hurting my feelings just because I’m right all the time.”

“I’m serious, Bernie. Things are changing, pieces are moving. Queen to D2 and all that.”

“You really think so? But there are still so many pawns on the board.”

“There always are. Right before the last three moves. There always are.”

A much younger man begins to stroll past the two, but his gate slows. A step past them he stops, considering. Then he pulls a dark leather wallet from his slacks, adding up a few bills, then replaces the wallet in his back pocket. He offers one of the bills to Mark, and one to Bernie.

“Bless you, Sir.”

“Thank you, young man. Hot one today, stay safe.”

The gentleman nods in return and bustles on without a word. The two wait until he was out of earshot to continue their conversation.

Stay safe?”

“He’s in much more danger than we are, you have to admit.”

“That’s true enough, but we ought not to let it on so easily.”

“Hey, you cover the crazy the majority of the time, it’s alright for me to sound it this once.”

“You think they’ll be alright, the ones that pull this kinda stuff?” Bernie waved the green Lincoln like a tiny flag.

“Who knows? Our job’s just to watch. I think it’s worth trying, I would if I were them.”


The  Word

Trifle (noun): 1. A thing of little value or importance. 2. A cold dessert of sponge cake and fruit covered with layers of custard, jelly, and cream.

Yes, their names are Mark and Bernie. 100 points to the first person who gets this reference before scrolling down*






*Bernardo and Marcellus, the guards who are joking around at the beginning of Hamlet. They are so good at joking around and Shakespeare’s habit of implying similar characters when they’re in similar pairs and using similar actors and therefore implying similar characters. Thus, they are rumored as inspiring such duos as these guys and these guys BECAUSE they were all intended as a combination of these guys and the reader’s metaphorical this guy. Enjoy your reading 🙂

But are these guys guards? Watchers on the wall? Or just a couple of polite homeless dudes? Is it possible to be both in this world?