Today I am Okay

The Story/Non-Poem*

*It’s my blog. I can call it what I want 😉

When someone traumatic tries to come back into your life, I envision it a lot like ‘two ships that pass in the night…’ two war ships, naturally.

The clouds move to cover

Wind whispers on sail cloth

The wood’s creaking a rumor

And cleansing in sea froth

Enemy ship on the horizon captain!

Is it… them, One-Eye?

Aye, Captain. Less than a league and gaining.


There’s a hum in the deep

A disturbance is near

The old ruins rumble

Buried creatures reappear

There’s still time to out run them, Capt’n. We can make it to Storm Bay an’ camouflage in the cliffs.

We could, mate, we could.

What’s the call, Captain?

The temptation delicious

To unsheath the sword

Once dripped in battle

Surge forward once more

Run out the cannons! Raise the flag! Hard to starboard to face!

You heard the Captain, hard to starboard!

Cannons lads! CANNONS!

To growl out the thunder

Match lightening with flame

But sea, storm, and sailor

Have become one in the same

Cannons, ready, Captain. Engage?

No- no. I just want the enemy to see ’em. Let them fire the first shot.

They’re closing, Captain!

Hold, all! HOLD!

The dark demands upon the bow

It aches to move, hurts to still

The anchor, the sail, to stay, to run

It’s all a matter of will

They’re moving out of range, Captain, pickin’ up knots!

Aye, the cowards. Well done, lads! Pull the cannons. Leave the flag high for now.

Aye, Captain!

There is a shield built on balance

A weapon with peace

And a wind drives one onward

To tread storms with ease

Turn us back to course, and pour us all a rum.

The Word

Okay (Exclamation): Used to express assent, agreement, or acceptance. (Adj): Satisfactory but not exceptionally or especially good. (Adverb): In a satisfactory manner or to a satisfactory extent. (Noun): An authorization or approval. (Verb): Sanction or give approval to.

Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence

— Henery Wadsworth Longfellow, The Theologian’s Tale

To answer your unspoken question I’ve completely imagined: No, I don’t think Mr. Longfellow would appreciate how I used the arguably most quoted line from his Theologian’s Tale to rewrite one of those ships’ crew preparing for a potential battle.** It kinda goes against the entire theme of the original work. But on the other hand, he was a romantic in his personal life, as well as a writer for the common man, so perhaps he would totally understand that when you’re awoken with a fright at 3am and find someone bucking up against your boundaries, you grasp onto whatever you can and if what comes out is a goofy not-poem scribbled in the Notes app, that’s okay.

Anyway. I didn’t write a lot in 2021 for lots of reasons, many of them I’ve detailed before- one of them is one that keeps all of us from doing things all the time: the demon Perfectionism. I’m scared to put work out there that isn’t good enough. That will make people say “what the hell does she think she’s doing? She literally needs to stick to her day job.” And that’s okay. And I love the not-poem above and it’s okay. And I think I’ll have lots of stories this year that are okay, but I also think I’ll bring some to you that are really awesome! Some I’ve already started that I’m very excited about! But to bring you those, I have to write everything and work on it and work on me and practice, so, here’s my pre-apology and pre-blush for the okay ones. I invite you all to join me in being okay, more than okay, and everything in between in 2022!

Happy reading, and happy New Year!

**(I wrote the rhyming parts later, I cannot rhyme at 3am.)