Today I am Eleutheromania

The Story

She had never been held like this before.

So light, so tenderly, yet deeply secure. Breathless yet gulping the precious air. Warm, yet shivering. This was new in a way that made each cell of her body sing! She called out to the heavens to witness her joy! Yes- never before like this.

Oh some had tried.

There had been a little rough and tumble when she was quite young. Then there’d been a cozy, caring, almost careful. Even once held like a fragile jewel, to be examined at every angle. But there was no comparison to be made.

The strength flowing across her breast, the rushing in her ears.

She would never need another thing. Hunger nor thirst could penetrate such contentment.

Borne over waves of pleasure, what heights! What peace.

This was flying.

The Word

Eleutheromania (noun): A mania or frantic zeal for freedom

Look! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a wom- no wait, that’s defiantly a bird.

This one is so short that maybe I should file it with poems rather than stories. But as the chimes have ding-a-dong’ed this week, announcing a wind bringing warm weather into my neck of the woods, I couldn’t help but feel like an uncaged bird myself.

I am a different person come spring. I know I’m not alone in this. A joy that has hibernated through cold rains and yes, even beautiful snows, awakens to bloom in my chest and run down to my fingers and toes. There is nothing quite like being warm.

I joke to my friends and family that I was a flower in another life. That I wilt without sun and warmth. I even call those hard days (the ones with the anxiety or the migraines or the seasonal depression or like, the state of the world) gray days- because they are like a heavy cloud has settled between me and blue sky.

But spring is finally settling in. There are wrens and robins fighting over the bird feeder, singing their lungs out for seed. And no, the world’s problems are not any less, but at least there is a little sunshine.

Happy spring, and happy reading.

P.S. Isn’t this a great word? There are some real fascinating finds in the “mania”s. Would encourage diving into the “mania” word-family-rabbit-hole when you need a doom-scroll break.

Today I am Solastalgia

The Poem

Her arrival is proclaimed on the wind!

And each time I rush to the door

To see her beauty appear

And her accompanying champions roar.

I have thrown off all promises to others

And dedicate myself to her joy,

I shower the homestead in her colors

and her songs my tongue jumps to employ.

Her herald is up on the mountains!

Her steps glisten across the plain,

And my heart swells at the sight of her,

My love, my life does she rein.

But she wearies herself at my hearth,

Like shadows she moves through the home,

And I find myself hoping she’d leave here

Release me and off should she roam.

Take everything with her and quit me,

Take it all and quickly depart!

How much longer will I last in her presence?

How weary and wounded my heart.

She lingers and hatred builds in me

She must go! She must leave here at once!

But she denies me my freedom for longer,

Bent to her own final performance.

Finally she bows and deserts me,

Back onto her weary world travel

And I am left alone in the doorway,

Begging myself not to unravel.

Yet I hear on the breeze a glad tiding!

Her sister is nearby and coming!

My heart warms at the thought of her presence,

And the very earth begins humming.

The Word

Solastalgia (noun): a form of emotional or existential distress caused by negatively perceived environmental change

I believe this is the youngest word seen on Quilled Sister thus far. Wikipedia tells us that it was first coined in 2003. Its maker, Glenn Albrect, says it is “the homesickness you have when you are still at home” often brought on by a change in the climate (How many of you just thought “oh, yeaaaah I know that feeling”? Same.).

If you have been with me for a while, you know that these occasional hibernations of mine happen. I disappear for quite some time without a warning or even backwards wave. And they most often happen during winter. I’m just not a winter gal, I don’t LIKE being cold. And I am sorry I’m like this. It’s just, when I’m hunkering down under a blanket with a scalding cup of tea, the last thing I want to do is risk my fingers turning blue running them across a keyboard.* BUT my notes app is flooded with words and mini-thoughts that could not be suppressed by the freezing temperatures. Now that the East Coast’s first false-spring has brought me a little out of my dark cave, I return to you with renewed vigor. Like the daffodils, I appreciate your patience while I huddled under the earth and am now determined to blossom once more for your reading pleasure!

Happy New (warm time of) Year! And Happy Reading!

P.S. If this poem reminded you of a haughty version of that Trace Adkin’s “hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave!” song, then I’m pleased.

*This does make my day job difficult. Emerging from a fort of blankets and hot water bottles to take a zoom call is hellish.